Cinema Fiasco presents The Thing With Two Heads [M]

Director: Lee Frost

Starring: Ray Milland, Rosey Grier, Don Marshall

Cinema Fiasco Presents: Live Commentary in the theatre!

A rich but racist man is dying and hatches an elaborate scheme for transplanting his head onto another man's body. His health deteriorates rapidly, and doctors are forced to transplant his head onto the only available candidate: a black man from death row.

Admission prices:

$17 ($15 concession) - NO FREE LIST

Film rating:

(and, yet again, we're being more than generous)

Melbourne's premier bad-movie buffs, Janet and Geoff (Geoff's the one on the left without trousers), are joined by celebrity guests to provide live commentary for this hilariously-dreadful film at the Astor Theatre. Janet grew up in Ballarat where the Narnia-like weather conditions regularly left her holed up in the chair nearest to the heater watching Saturday afternoon movies on BTV6. The budget-conscious programming department of this regional station were joyfully undiscerning as to the quality of the non-prime-time weekend fare meaning that Janet's formative memories are littered with images of cut-price westerns, cheesy musicals and, when lucky, crappy sci-fi flicks (Tarantula! Earth vs the Flying Saucers!)

Happily, when she left school aged 17, Janet went to work at BTV6 in the film department where she had access to scrutinise the shoddiness frame-by-frame. "That dinosaur is on wheels!" she would be heard to cry. "Oh my GOD, just look at her PANT SUIT! She deserved to die."

At the age of 19 Janet joined Ballarat Theatresports. It was there that she was first found herself laughing at the tasteless, yet hilarious, performances of Geoff Wallis. Their similar taste (or lack therof) in movies coupled with an admirable stamina in being able to sit through hours of cinematic dross soon bonded the two together in friendship - celebrated on many Friday nights in marathon viewdowns of the $1 weekly VHS section of the local video store.

BONUS INFO: Janet has even been in the movies! (As an extra.) She's played a gangster's moll, a denim-clad bogan and a dead Lithuanian Jew (in separate productions, thankfully). One of the movies even won an AFI Award, although Janet's performance as "featured dead body" was criminally ignored.

Meanwhile, Geoff Wallis is an actor, writer, director, theatre usher and bad movie fan from way back. "It's in my blood", he says. "My mother once took me to see a double bill of 'Jaws' and 'Airport '77' at the Village Northern Drive-In in Ballarat and on the way home she said she much preferred 'Airport '77' to 'Jaws'." From these auspicious beginnings, Geoff has devoted himself to the study of wretched cinema and has a particular interest in disaster movies, women-in-prison flicks, "nunsploitation", movies starring Michael Caine (during his "I'll-do-anything-for-cash" period), Douglas Sirk melodramas, Italian rip-offs of Hollywood hits and anything in which Joan Crawford had to smile. "Bad movies are so much more enjoyable than good ones", says Geoff. "And there are so many more of them to watch. Why deprive yourself?"

Geoff studied acting at the Victorian College of the Arts and appeared in some big musicals, quite a few Shakespearean productions - he claims to have been "the definitive Guildenstern" - and even a few bad films. Geoff has worked extensively in the field of improvisation and is still known to many today as "that guy from Theatresports". He has worked on over 180 consecutive Melbourne Theatre Company productions and has become, as a result, very popular in the area of front of house.

Geoff is single and has no pets. He lives in what's left of Elwood with his extensive movie collection and a ghost who doesn't like it when he leaves the kitchen messy. He dedicates his work with Cinema Fiasco to God and Karen Black. And, yes, they are one and the same.

Internet Movie Database listing for The Thing With Two Heads.

A 2008 Melbourne International Comedy Festival event.